I guess you could call it art, but we left the launch of the Orochi Kabuto supercar by obscure Japanese manufacturer Mitsuoka with more questions than answers… and then we opened the press pack.

The concept by designer Takanori Aoki was unveiled in a ceremony that would only make any sense to a Japanese national. The veiled sports car was serenaded by two excessively trendy musicians — one playing a violin and the other a selection of flutes to a heavy base background.

The performance became increasingly wild and ended with the equivalent of a musical orgasm when the veil was whipped off by two extremely attractive young women in what can only be described as designer-traditional dress.

The marsh brown sports car beneath sneered out with a face that looks like it had been sucking lemons. It could have come straight off the set of the “Cars” movie — and we wouldn’t have been at all surprised if it had started talking. We would have been surprised if it said anything remotely intelligible.

If possible, the presentation became even more bizarre when Takanori came on stage to explain his concept. He was the splitting image of a thin Elvis, with wild gelled hair and a velvet black suit. His presentation delivery was equally unorthodox — short sentences shouted in a machine gun like staccato bursts with gaps of several minutes in between.

We were unable to gleam a single fact about the car from the press release — but it did provide us with a lot of entertainment. Here are a few quotes from four pages that read exactly like this all the way through.

Lost in Translation

“Thanks to you, the big snake was able to have been summoned last October and goodness or more spent a great amount of time of about 2,000 days or less there.”

“2,000 days for us who was a small automaker were continuous of the fight and the challenge that was not able to be decorated with a beautiful word.”

“Orochi Kabuto announced this time Japanese armor gets a hint about old.”

“Moreover, riar fender from the reception desk fender expressible because of Orochi organic form.”

“Can only litre’s 1-3km fuel cost say the car that doesn’t expand that it is true and it luxurious the inside that starts entering such an age because it likes cars taking?”

Answers on the back of a postcard, please.